A Kinder Way to Meet Your Own Mistakes

Meeting mistakes with kindness

When you make a mistake, the inner critic may rush in with harsh words. Try responding instead as you would to a good friend: with understanding and a focus on what can be learned.

Acknowledge the mistake honestly, take responsibility, and make amends if needed. Then ask what you might do differently next time, without dwelling on blame.

Kindness toward yourself is not letting yourself off the hook. It makes it easier to look at mistakes clearly, because you are not afraid of being crushed by them.

Practice the friend voice

After forgetting an important appointment, your inner voice might say, "You are so careless, you always mess things up." You would never speak that way to a friend, yet it feels normal to speak that way to yourself.

Next time you make a mistake, pause and ask, "What would I say to a good friend in this situation?" Write down that response and read it to yourself. Then take one practical step to repair or prevent the mistake.

Notice how the kinder voice affects your ability to respond. Many people find that gentleness helps them learn and act more effectively than harsh self criticism.

To go deeper with what you practiced here, you might sample the human potential collection on Gaia. It is optional, and your pace stays yours.